A few years ago my husband was traveling quite a bit, leaving me at home alone with four kids.
Little ones, like 5, 4, 3 and newbie. It was rough. Sometimes it was all I could do not to be bitter at him, or at least at the freedom he seemed to have as he got on another plane. And my little ones, they are precious for sure, and I prayed and prayed (and prayed!) them home through our adoption process and then throughout my pregnancy. But oh. my. word.
I remember being home one afternoon while my husband was out of state, feeling completely overwhelmed and mad, hiding myself behind the door of my bathroom and just losing it. Crying. Reeling from the anger I’d felt and the sting of the words I’d just used towards my kids, again. Drowning in the shame of once again going over the top with my reactions and feeling like a total failure. Would this ever change? Would I ever be able to “handle” this or would anger always get the best, or the very worse, of me?
I wonder if you’ve ever felt this way. Angry at your kids, angry with your husband, your family, your friends. Stuck in this cycle of getting good and mad, then feeling guilty, followed up by defeat and shame. Desperately wanting a different story.
What’s your story? What’s been your journey with anger and those high intensity emotions?
I so wish I could sit across from you and hear your story. Because we all feel so deeply, don’t we? We are passionate women who feel big and loud and express it with strong intensity. Often.
Interestingly enough, God created us with this intensity. He wired us to feel emotions deeply. He created us with our five senses, to see, to hear, to touch, to smell and to taste, and to experience life around us fully. To live life full of breath and wonder, taking everything in deeply with colors and smells and flavor. We were wired to experience life with all of our senses and with a full range of emotions.
Anger is one of those emotions we were wired to feel. Which sounds crazy, as destructive as it can be, but anger is just that. An emotion. In fact, anger can serve as a very good response in our lives:
- Anger can stir us to stand up for social justice. Just try and talk to me about human trafficking and see if I don’t get all fired up.
- Anger can cause us to protect those we love. Anyone had the “mama bear” awakened after someone came against your child, or family member?
- Anger can cause us to stand up for ourselves. For the woman in an abusive relationship who has said “that’s it.”, anger can serve as her catalyst to get free.
Even Jesus Himself got good and mad in the temple one day (Matthew 21:12), flipping tables and going off on those around Him because of the way they were treating His Father’s house. If the possibility of being angry is in Jesus, it’s definitely in us because God created us that way.
Anger is an emotion that is normal and at times, necessary.
However, the anger I’m referring to is the one that goes over the top. The kind that is…
- out of control
- full of condemnation
The kind that finds you weeping in your bathroom after you’ve just lost it with your kids.
Why do we get so mad?
Let’s spend some time here, exploring a few of the why’s of this whole thing, why we allow our anger to come in and consume us, damaging our hearts, and hurting those we love. Let’s expose wrong thought patterns and loosen the grip of shame. Come with me next week and let’s allow the Lord to transform us, to heal up some of the wounds we have, and set our feet on a path to restoration. . . hope . . . and redemption, believing and living as if the JOY of the Lord is truly our strength
Join me next week. Let’s bring this into the Light.
Let’s turn this March madness thing around.